Hay, Pellets, and Poop.

Alright, guys! I have great news! I've found the love of my life. He loves me and appreciates me, and every move I make. He will sit in bed with me for hours, coming to cuddle whenever he realizes he's just a little too far away. He's so soft, warm, and loving... but he eats and poops all the time. His name is Bruiser, and he is my pet rabbit.

This little guy has been so much more than just my pet rabbit, he's been a wonderful friend. Not only has he learned things from me (such as walking around in a little red harness) but I've also learned from him. I've learned valuable lessons about love, appreciation, and friendship.

Don't ever bite the hand that feeds you.
Literally or figuratively, this is a very important lesson that I've learned. I took this into the real world, recently, when I quit one of my jobs. I hate the idea of burning bridges, but unfortunately that is exactly what I did. After quitting my job, I received this little bundle of joy and realized that there are people out there who go out of their way for you on a daily basis, there are people that take chances on you, hire you, and care about you. Appreciate that because one day, when you quit your job and realize you probably shouldn't have, you'll miss it if it's gone.

Other people's feelings matter.... a lot.
For some people, it's quite easy to walk about their day only worrying about what's going on in their own lives and paying little to no attention to the world around them. Last week, I was drowning in homework and midterms and spent very little time playing with my honey bunny. I would come home and his cardboard house would be flipped upside down and he was very impatient. I realized that I took the responsibility to have Bruiser as a pet, so I need to be responsible for his well-being as well. In the real world, you're an individual. However, the world does not revolve around a sole individual, and neither should you. Regardless of gender, race, and love interest, there are people in the world who are different than you. That does not make these people "wrong," "damned to hell," or "stupid." Actually, in my humble opinion, if you describe other people in this way... you're probably just describing yourself.

Getting mad about little shit isn't worth it.
Bruiser's nickname is "little shit," because he literally poops almost all the time. His favorite place to poop is my soft, blue, and comfortable bed spread. He will find some way to jump up onto my bed and the next thing I know there are 20-30 small poop pellets everywhere. Yes, it's annoying and kind of gross, but shit happens...literally. Instead of getting frustrated at his natural instinct to poop on anything soft, I pick him up and put him in his cage, and pick up all the poop pellets and put them in the poop corner of his cage. This is to reinforce the idea that poop belongs THERE and not on my bedspread. When he's running around the room and goes back into his cage to do his business, I reward him with a sweet berry treat. Sometimes, when life is shitty, you just have to take a deep breathe, pick it up, and move on.

Breaking Off A Long-Term Relationship

I date for long periods of time. My first love, as well as my most recent ex, and I started dating in March of my 8th grade year. Continuing on until recently, my sophomore year of college. We've had our ups and downs, we are only human of course, but in the end he was always the one.

Near the end of our relationship, I gained an understanding of myself which eventually lead to our break-up. Although he should've been a huge part of my life, he shouldn't have controlled it: which he did. He decided who I hung out with, what classes I took, where I lived, what I wore, and so much more. Coming into an extreme fit of "Who the hell am I??!" I realized that I wouldn't ever know as long as he was in my life.

He had our life planned (there was mutual agreement, but not mutual satisfaction). We were going to live in my home-town with 3 kids and they were going to be named Kelsey, Jacob, and Steve. All of the names listed are names he had chosen. There middle names were going to be his family middle names that had passed down over generations, not mine.

He had never asked, he decided. However, in his defense, I always agreed.

I was no longer myself -- but I was the girl-version of him.

It took me a long time to realize this, and to many of my friend's relief, I finally did. I was not happily in love with him, I was just happy to be in love.

How-To: Break up with your long-term boyfriend

1) Make sure it's what you want to do and when you do it, stick to your guns.
Breaking up and  getting back together over and over can be extremely detrimental to one's well-being. Having your heart broken is one of the worst pains a human body can feel (not THE worst, but it's up there). It's hard because you're giving up your norm, but you must do it regardless if you know it's right for you.

2) Don't make it dramatic and cause a scene
Be mature and be adults. Things sometimes just don't work out, and regardless of your past with eachother, you have to look towards the future. Be kind and be gentle, don't throw in "If you had only.." type statements because they're unneccessary. You're ending it with them, there is no need to kick them while they're down. Try not to break up based on a fight or argument, "don't make permenent decisions based on temporary feelings."

3) Don't dwell: Remember the past but realize you're both in a new chapter.
You will see other people, and odds are that he will too. Don't "stalk" his Facebook and Twitter, I actually suggest hiding/blocking them for some time. Yes, even if it's 10 years down the road, you're not going to like that he/she has moved on, but the beauty of it is that you can move on too. There was a legitimate reason for ending the relationship, realize this and realize you need something/someone else. If fate allows you to bump into eachother down the road, great! If not, it wasn't meant to be.

4) Focus on yourself: Dreams, goals, and friends.
Try not to jump directly into another relationship -- even if you feel like you're over them, you're probably not. Focus on yourself. Go on walks. Journal. Pick up a hobby. Be with your friends. I'm not saying to shun boys/girls completely, just try to set a distinct time to focus on who you are by yourself, not who you are when you're attached to someone else.

Gratitude Journal

As an avid blogger and self-help addict, I've stumbled upon multiple sites suggesting a "Gratitude Journal." Sure, seems easy enough, right?

Every day, write down 5 things you're grateful for. They can be simplistic, realistic, or meaningful. Attempting to appreciate the smaller things in my life, I'm going for a simplistic list today. The things I over-look on a daily basis.

Today (October 28th 2012), I'm Grateful For:

1) Bread when I'm hungover
Fighting a mean case of Barefoot Moscato after-math, I've never been so grateful for simple bread and butter. Polishing off a full (large) bottle of Barefoot has left my stomach churning and my body yearning. However, as I buttered up a few toasted pieces of bread, I've never been more thankful for my wheat/yeast product.
2) Friends I can laugh for hours with
As my friend and I recover from our Barefoot night (mentioned above; we both had a large bottle to ourselves), we reminisce over our crazy antics. Laughing and hungover, I love that I have someone to relate with.

3) People who appreciate me for the way I am
I cuss, I drink, and I smoke. I forget to thank the people that deal with that daily. However, underneath that, I am caring, smart, and occasionally funny. When people see my flaws but appreciate the latter, I know I've found true friendship.

4) Nicotine
As a smoker, I'm grateful for my rush of nicotine in my morning cigarette. Often, I find myself immune to feeling my nicotine high, and I'm so grateful when I do. It is what I spend my money for, right?

5) Dunkin Donuts coffee
Morphing the entire list together, Dunkin Donuts coffee is a must. Sharing it with a friend you can laugh with, as you smoke a cigarette and eat toast, it ties in everything I'm grateful for today. Thank you, Dunkin, for only charging me $2.68 for my XL Hazelnut coffee this morning.

What are you grateful for?

What Do You "Need" In Relationships?

In the course of my love-life, all two relationships, I've found that I stick with the same person because I'm so hooked on the idea of being in love. However, it never works out with my significant other because they lack the things I need.

Call me high maitencence, but I do hold my my men to a certain standard. Although, for the most part, I'll make excuses justifying why  they don't meet up to my needs -- in the end, they just don't.

Needs are needs, and when mine aren't satisfied, I'll go elsewhere so they are. Some of my needs are stereotypical and materialistic, but they are my needs regardless.


There is no shame in needing things from your significant other, and when they don't meet up to these standards, there is no shame in moving on.


Things I Need From My Significant Other

1) Understanding
It's important for me to have a man that will understand my bad moods, off-days, or my ridiculously high standards. They don't have to have gone through the same experiences (I'm not looking for an identical twin), it's just important they try to understand what I am going through.

2) Honesty
If something is wrong, tell me. If something isn't wrong and I ask, understand my paranoia (thank you past relationships) and move on. Don't cheat either, obviously.

3) Attention
By attention, I don't mean every second of every day (eventually I'd murder them if they wouldn't leave me alone, ha!), I mean that I want you to recognize and appreciate our relationship. Text me once in a while (good morning, good day, good night) and let me know that you remember we're in a serious commited relationship.

One of my exes always said I needed attention to be happy, and to a certain extent I think this is true for everybody, but he was one who would go days without texting me. If it's asking too much to call me occassionally then I'm not with the right person. Plain and simple.

4) Drive
There is nothing more attractive about a man than his drive to succeed or accomplish goals he has set for himself. Life is not a party, although there isn't any shame in letting lose once in a while, so give yourself goals and work to achieve them. This can be with work, school, personal life, whatever. I just want to know that if you say you'll do something, then you will do your best to do so.



What are your needs in a relationship?

The Up's And Down's of Greek Life

As a member of a wonderful sorority, I've come across many things I adore about Greek Life and many things I dislike. Although my organization is key part in who I am today, it is not perfect. Who expects to throw 100+ people in a room together and everything be perfect?

There are stereotypes and assumptions, some I have found true and others far from it.

If you are reading this to "decide" whether or not to join, please take my advice and go through formal rush week. You'll learn the good/bad/ugly of YOUR CAMPUS GREEKS by meeting them yourself.

Disclaimer: These are only observations based on my experience. Every campus is different. It is different for everybody.

The Truth's and Lie's of Greek Life

 

 

1) You'll meet friends that will last a lifetime.

Truth: Throughout my experiences, I have met girls whose best friends are their big, little, twin, or sister. Going through ritual and meeting your chapter, you are bound to find a friend that is very important to you. You two will have a sisterhood and bond unlike anything you've had with your friends before. This does not include your entire chapter. Before I rushed, I talked to the president of another sorority on my campus. She was blunt and told me, "you will not like every single one of your sisters." My SRC told me, "Honestly guys, I dislike 85% of the girls in my chapter. The other 15% though, they're perfect." By joining your sorority, you will not automatically make 100+ best friends, you're lucky if you make 4 or 5, actually. However, those 4 or 5 people will become some of the best people in your life. Not only will you have similar qualities and values, you will be sisters. Sisterhood (biological or greek) is a bond that will not fade.

 

Lies: After joining my organization, I had never felt more alone in my life. Surrounded by 100+ girls who seemed to have some bond, I felt that I had missed a retreat or hand-out on how to make friends with your sisters. Everyone seemed to have already found their 4 or 5 close friends and I was the odd-ball out. Girls would go out for TCBY or Cookout after chapter, and I'd walk back to my dorm from chapter alone.

 

In rebuttal though, after I was inactive due to my severe depression (I attempted suicide and was taking part in ritualistic cutting and self-harm) I had never had so much support. My sisters made an effort to tell me hello and realize I was alive -- it changed everything. There were still a few girls, we'll call them the exceptions, who told me they didn't care... but 4 girls out of 150 did not represent the support and love I recieved from my chapter.



2) Greeks party all the time.
Truth: Some of the best parties I've ever been to are courtesy of my fellow Greeks. They are legitimate ragers, and you'll meet some serious characters. Some girls use these as an excuse to be floozy-like, others are there to bond and enjoy eachothers company.

Lies: The movies that portray Greek Life often forget about the other things Greeks do. The study hours, the philanthropy events, the community service, the substance-free fun. Greek life is a grand mixture of all things college-like. In order to be an active member of most Greek Organizations, you're required a certain GPA, a certain amount of community service hours, and a certain amount of dedication to all things *insert organization name here*.  Greeks are commonly portrayed as wild party animals, and some can be, but most spend their nights (during the week, atleast) in the library with their sisters/brothers. The Facebook page for my organization (it's a private way to communicate with all members) is filled with "All nighter in the library, who's with me?" posts.

3) Sorority girls are sluts and frat boys are douchebags.
Truth: There is little/no truth in this statement. Being a "slut" or a "whore" is solely based on the individual and not the organization. Being in a Greek Organization does not make you a slut or a douchebag, that is an individual choice. There aren't classes or weekly meetings for my sorority on "how to be a slut," don't forget that.

Lies: Many members of my Greek family are the most well-rounded, wonderful people I've ever met. Regardless of their life choices when the lights go off -- most Greeks hold themselves to high standards and do not fit this stereotype: don't assume.

4) Going Greek just means you're paying for friends.
Truth: Greek Life can be expensive. From letter shirts, national dues, and social event fees, your organization can burn a hole right through your wallet. Sure, you can go out and party and make friends without going Greek, and a lot of people choose this. You're paying money to be a part of an organization that represents your character and values. It allows you to connect and network with people who hold themselves to these same standards. It is a rewarding experience and you do make a lot of wonderful friends through this because of how much you have in common.

Lies:  The money you're putting down for your organization does not mean you're paying for friends. You're putting money into your organization (most goes to your philanthropy events) to better your chapter. You're paying for an experience of a lifetime, which does include friends. You pay money to take part in charitable events such as community service projects. Working at an office that focuses on the career choices of students, having a Greek Organization on your resume is very appealing to employers. By joining Greek Life, you're opening yourself up to networking opportunities and ways to better yourself -- and employers love this.

Appreciate The Little Things

Lately I've noticed myself as a debbie downer, and with that being said, I've decided to appreciate the little things throughout my day.

What are some of yours?


The Little Things

1) That "Oh my gosh I'm so clean and refreshed" moment when you get out of the shower.
2) The first cigarette of the day
3) When you don't have a single blemish.
4) Cinammon/sugar bagels with a banana and milk for breakfast
5) Hot coffee (perfectly creamed and sugared)
6) Your iPod shuffling to your favorite songs
7) Talking to your parents and hearing that they're doing well
8) Fresh, clean air.
9) Your phone being completely charged
10) Peeing after you've been holding it in for awhile.

I Am: A Serial Monogamist

Serial Monogamy: The act of "religiously" being with a single person at a single time. Religiously meaning there is no chance/action of being attracted to multiple people at a time. This is to the point of discomfort when with/talking to more than one person,

Serial monogamy is often characterized by people facing severe low self-esteem, anxiety, and/or depression. Feeling unnecessary anxiety of being 'played' or 'playing,' serial monogamists are very loyal and faithful.

When ending a relationship, serial monogamists prefer to know when and with who their next relationship will start; preferring to prolong a failing relationship until promises of another one arise. Serial monogamists often keep each relationship for long periods of time.

However, when a serial monogamist is facing a relationship where there is not enough attention/respect, they'll seek it somewhere else. With no actual attempt of seeing another person, a serial monogomist will still seek attention if they need it; remember most are facing severe low self-esteem issues.

Serial monogomists often seek constant reassurance from their partner; needing them to reinforce the fact they like/are attracted to them. Their relationships often fail because of their lack of trust in their partner.


I Am: A Serial Monogamist