The Art of Fitting In

How far would you go to fit in? Do you over-ride your default standards and forget they exist?
Change your clothes, change your attitude, change yourself.

On a daily basis, I encounter masses of women and men who are desperate to fit in to try to stand out. Unfortunetly, they're sinking and drowning into the majority of college students; losing their identity one day at a time. My mother always told me there was no way to change my roots, only different ways to appreciate them.

 In the words of Little Big Town, "I feel no shame, I'm proud of where I came from, I was born and raised in the boondocks."


Here is my small rant of all things conformist:
Disclaimer:  I do understand this does not apply to every person of every campus. There are exceptions. These statements are generalizations of the majority of people I'm surrounded by.

1) "I joined a frat. Not only am I a real man now, I'm going to buy pastel colored shorts."
 -- Alright boys, I feel no shame in admitting that those pastel colored shorts often highlight your tan cut muscles, but c'mon... brotherhood is not about your pastel colored shorts (that I know of, atleast. I'm a girl so I wouldn't really know, but I do assume). Sure, I can spot a 'frat boy' from miles away because of his colorful shorts, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically going to "jump your bones" and do you. Actually, most girls steer clear of these pastel colored short men because frats are notorious for using their attractiveness to break hearts of innocent college girls everywhere. Joining Greek life should be (I'm wishful thinking here!) based on the values and beliefs of the chapter, not the color of their shorts.

2) "I'm in a sorority. I must now only associate with those in my organization... and occasionally other Greeks (but rarely! Mixers only!)"
-- You are always wearing letters. Ignoring the general population will take a serious toll on your recruitment next year, don't ya think? Girls, I understand that sisterhood is a bond that will never be broken but that is no excuse to walk around pretending you're the best thing that's happened to your campus, because you're not. I'm willing to bet that the majority of you are only joining outside organizations (Relay for Life etc) because you're required to. I'll be the first to admit that I did that my freshman year, but as the year went on I realized how despicable Greeks in these organizations are. Better yourself, better your organization (both Greek and non-Greek) and CARE about something bigger than yourself. The packs of sorority girls is actually unappealing as a PNM; you're intimidating and often mean. Don't forget, ladies, that you were once a regular ole' student and you shouldn't shun those who still are.

3) I play a college level sport so I will skip/fail all of my classes because my coaches will still love me....oh, and I'm an idiot.
Boys and girls, I am forever jealous of your amazing athletic ability and I envy your involvment in these school functions. I am also envious of the fact you can skip classes and not care and get away with it. Being independent from my family and their money, one bad grade will decide if I return to my institution.  How many athletes manage to become a professional after college (I'm actually unsure of the stats) but I know it's not all of you. Even if you have the ability to become pro, what if you break your knees in half or something drastic and dramatic like that? Your coaches, although sympathetic, wont be able to help you pass these classes afterwards. Be well-rounded, give yourself more options just in case your professional athlete dreams fall through.

4) I'm in college...and college means drinking and doing drugs every second of every day.
College is fun and exciting. You get to sleep over at boys houses and your parents can't stop you! You get to go out and dress slutty because everyone's doing it. You get to re-invent yourself and be whoever you want. This is all true -- but that doesn't mean it's required. Unlike in highschool, there is no "most popular" girl. Sure, there are people known around campus for various reasons but I promise you, the only people you should be trying to impress are the friends that accept you for who you are. Being the crazy, drunk, slutty girl will only impress the wrong people. Hold up to your values, have fun, have a few nights where you get too drunk...but don't let these things define you. Without your classes you wouldn't be there anyway, so prioritize!

5) For the religious or not-so-religious: College is not an excuse to forget faith.
Religious: Pray, pray hard. Pray for the crazy, slutty, drunk people around you. Join your campus's "crazy preacher" and be firm! By all means, go to church on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Study your bible and give yourself weekly quizzes -- I don't care! However, don't shun those who don't do the same. The world is full of people who worship different God's and different religions, and it's also full of people who couldn't care less any of it. You will meet gay people, interracial couples, and drunky butts... move on. Realize your faith is your faith. Go about it anyway you'd like, but don't you dare spite me on Monday morning when I've had too much fun on Sunday night. College is about expanding your education and this goes inside and outside of the classroom. Learn about your peers and accept your peers. Your religion may be wonderful, and I'm so happy you have found something to wake yourself up early on Sunday morning, but don't act surprised and disgusted when you realize everyone else in the world hasn't.
Not-So-Religious: Don't be ignorant. Feel free to be proud of the life you're living. However, don't flaunt it. ("I had sex with 5 people yesterday!" "I drank so much that I woke up in a bathtub of my puke!" "I didn't wear panties with my skirt yesterday, Bob totally fingered me underneath the lab tables in ESCI." ) I'm glad your life is that exciting, but don't forget to respect those who don't appreciate it. Keep it classy. There are people around you always listening, don't shock them with your dirty dirty secrets.

6) "I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops."
Mean girls reference. Winning. Anyway, be yourself. Simple as that. College is about finding yourself, figuring out your life, and making mistakes (but learning from them!). Don't lose yourself by trying to be somebody else. Mom time: "There is only one you!" Learn it. Live it. Love it.